The Long Road of Power

Big Wiggie don't play Sitaar

One day down at the Veldenhalm Barracks captained by Iorlov, new conscript, McTavish enters the room to find his mentor Tristan furiously polishing a lower button on his military jacket.

McTavish: You sure you got enough shine on that, Mate?
Tristan: Actually, no. Still more work to do.
McTavish: Mate, I was only joking. Take a break. It’s only inpsection.
Tristan: Only inspection? Tomorrow’s inspection isn’t just your Captain Iorlov strolling past with a “tuck in that shirt”, you know….
McTavish: What do you mean?
Tristan: Big Wiggie’s taking the inspection.
McTavish: Who’s Big Wiggie?
Tristan: Shelyn’s knuckles, Mate, you better shape up and shape up quick! The Big Boss. General Garess!
McTavish: And he likes shiny buttons, does he?
Tristan: He don’t like dull buttons, Mate, and if you got any of them on YOUR shirt, YOU don’t want HIM not liking them.
McTavish: Okay, I get it. I’ll get mine a gleaming too. Hey, why do you call him Big Wiggie?
Tristan: He’s the “BIG WIG”, isn’t he?
McTavish: Yeah, so…..?
Tristan: The Big EAR Wig!
McTavish: What’s with the EAR?
Tristan: Gosh, you don’t know nuthin’, do ya? Last time he visited the barracks he was questioning some citizen and didn’t like the answers he got, so he takes the geezer aside and rips his ear off with his hand.
McTavish: With his hand?
Tristan: And he’s very particular about buttons.
McTavish: Okay, I’m polishing. I’m polishing!


McTavish stood frozen to attention in line next to his comrade Tristan, from the corner of his mouth he whispered, ‘Ere, you said nowt about him having a bloody gem for an eye! He pull that out too?’

Big Wiggie don't play Sitaar

McTavish, there’s some things we just DON’T talk about. The first is that EYE! The next thing we don’t talk about is …… you guessed it. Best not to speak about it.

Big Wiggie don't play Sitaar
twiggyleaf twiggyleaf

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