The Long Road of Power

Big Wiggie don't play Sitaar

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One day down at the Veldenhalm Barracks captained by Iorlov, new conscript, McTavish enters the room to find his mentor Tristan furiously polishing a lower button on his military jacket.

McTavish: You sure you got enough shine on that, Mate?
Tristan: Actually, no. Still more work to do.
McTavish: Mate, I was only joking. Take a break. It’s only inpsection.
Tristan: Only inspection? Tomorrow’s inspection isn’t just your Captain Iorlov strolling past with a “tuck in that shirt”, you know….
McTavish: What do you mean?
Tristan: Big Wiggie’s taking the inspection.
McTavish: Who’s Big Wiggie?
Tristan: Shelyn’s knuckles, Mate, you better shape up and shape up quick! The Big Boss. General Garess!
McTavish: And he likes shiny buttons, does he?
Tristan: He don’t like dull buttons, Mate, and if you got any of them on YOUR shirt, YOU don’t want HIM not liking them.
McTavish: Okay, I get it. I’ll get mine a gleaming too. Hey, why do you call him Big Wiggie?
Tristan: He’s the “BIG WIG”, isn’t he?
McTavish: Yeah, so…..?
Tristan: The Big EAR Wig!
McTavish: What’s with the EAR?
Tristan: Gosh, you don’t know nuthin’, do ya? Last time he visited the barracks he was questioning some citizen and didn’t like the answers he got, so he takes the geezer aside and rips his ear off with his hand.
McTavish: With his hand?
Tristan: And he’s very particular about buttons.
McTavish: Okay, I’m polishing. I’m polishing!

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